It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
