didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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