Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
