She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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