I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My penis needs a shock collar
this hospital has no fireball
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
