This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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