escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
