this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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