Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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