Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
