So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
