I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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