I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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