watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
