we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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