Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
