First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
