Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
