Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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