Christians are straight up FREAKS
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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