As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
