the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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