So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
