Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
