I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he was CRYING into my vagina
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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