I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
