I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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