dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
