and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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