no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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