I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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