I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My pussy is not your playground.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
