can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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