the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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