you turned your livingroom into a bong?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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