oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
