whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
