I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
