I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
