Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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