We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
