i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
