I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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