The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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