Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
