Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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