Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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