i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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