I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
