it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize