I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
